2011 was one hell of a year for me. You might even say it was a banner year (I don’t really know what that means…but it sounds about right).

I connected with loved ones, music, and myself at levels I never even thought were possible. We’re talking BIG life changes, people. I’d go into more detail but I’d probably sound like an incoherent mess of hippie-ness.

One thing’s for sure though: 2011 is definitely a year I’ll look back on fondly for the rest of my life.

And since electronic dance music (and getting into DJing) was a huge part of what made my 2011 special, I thought, why not whip a mix together? A soundtrack for my memories, if you will?

So here it is. My first official mix. Performed and recorded live. 26 songs that each hold special meaning for me. A personal thank you to the moments and people who made this my “banner” year (I should probably google that, huh?).

And for those of you new to this music, consider this a good intro step to some of the biggest and best progressive house songs of 2011. My gift to you.

I try not to buy shit anymore. Oh sure, I still gotta buy things like toothpaste and socks. But for the most part, I don’t buy. I “temporarily own”.

Not only has this made it easier for me to travel and start new hobbies, but it’s also saved me a TON of money.

Huh? “WTF is this”, you ask?

Well, basically, when most people buy something, they see it as THEIRS. They own it. It belongs to them for life. And the money they dropped for it is – *poof* – gone forever.

My perspective is just a slight shift in thinking, but it makes a huge difference:

I see everything I buy as something that I’m just borrowing. It’s not MINE. I won’t have it for life or start associating it with who I am. It’s just mine temporarily. And the money I spent on it, is also, only temporarily gone.

And while I have it, I’ll use the hell out of it. I’ll squeeze every single drop of usefulness out of it that I can.

But the moment it stops being useful, or I outgrow it, or it stops helping me live a happier, more fulfilling life…I’ll flip it on Craigslist to someone who’ll get more out of it than I will.

Like I said, it seems like an insignificant difference. But this mindset towards buying has benefitted my life in a bunch of unexpected, really awesome ways:

Save Money (Or Even Make Some)

Alright, now here’s where the biggest love of my life comes into play: Craigslist.

With this “temporarily owning” mentality and the principle of “buy low, sell high” in mind, here’s how I get 90% of the things I own:

1) If you want something, buy it used on Craigslist for LOW.

2) Use it. And when you don’t need it anymore or if you want to upgrade…

3) Sell it on Craigslist for SLIGHTLY HIGHER.

Bam. Not only did you get full use of your item and NOT lose any money, but you even made a few bucks! You basically just got paid to use that item. Baller.

And if you have to sell it for lower, don’t sweat it. Think of the money lost as a really, really low rental cost. Totally worth it.

This also makes upgrading to new items hella easy and cheap. Just think of it as “trading up”. Do you want a newer phone? Sick of your slow computer?

Use Craigslist to sell that shit HIGH and buy the next version LOW.

I’ve been doing this with EVERY big ticket item in my life for the past few years and have saved some serious cash. I’m talking laptops, video cameras, even iPhones. Let me give you some examples:

• Sold a 2004 Macbook Pro with broken fan for $800
• Bought a like-new, 2010 Unibody Macbook Pro for $1200
• Total Cost for a Way Better Laptop: $400 (Fixing the fan alone would’ve cost $300. So for just $100 more, I got a way faster and newer computer)**

• Sold a Canon XHA1 video camera + Accessories for $2000
• Bought a brand new Canon 60D (too new for a good used price) + Lens + Audio Recorder + Accessories for $2176
• Total Cost for a Way Better Camera: $176. Badass.

**If you ever need to repair your shit, check Craigslist first and see if it’d be cheaper to just trade up instead. You’d be surprised by how many people will buy broken stuff. I assume they’ve got awesome repair skills. Or just really suck at buying stuff.

Keep in mind though, this really only works with Craigslist (not scammy, seedy eBay). See, with eBay’s bidding system, the price always averages out to its true market value. Not so with Craigslist. That’s why, if you’re patient enough, you can find stuff for way cheaper. Or sell your stuff for higher.

And since you can also see the item up close, try before you buy, talk to the owner, and pick it up immediately…it’s pretty much the ONLY option for selling and buying used stuff (seriously, f*ck eBay).

Perfect for Travelers

When you travel, if you need something, you don’t have to worry about bringing it with you (sorry, that bicycle’s not gonna work as carry on). Just get there and “temporarily own” instead.

Every time I live in a new city, I get what I need on Craigslist (or the foreign equivalent), use it while I’m there, and then sell it off before I leave.

I just did this in New York with a MIDI keyboard to make music with and I actually made friends with the rapper who sold it to me [LINK]. And when I left, I ended up selling it for $10 more!

Obviously this makes more sense for longer stays, but it’s an option that every traveler should know they’ve got.

Make It Way Easier to Start a New Hobby

When you’re interested in starting a new hobby, the greatest barrier that always gets in the way is GETTING THE GEAR (whether you’re getting into photography or DJing).

You could spend forever trying to find the perfect starting gear. “Oh I want those deluxe features in case I need them someday….but not in that color…and it needs to be cheap, but not too cheap…”

A lot of people never get shit started cause they get stuck in this phase. They put off actually doing anything. Don’t be one of those people.

Say, “Screw it, let’s do it” by temporarily owning instead.

Since it’s just temporary, no need to spend the next 4 months searching for the perfect thing. Just get some beginners shit on Craigslist and you’re set!

No more excuses, just go.

Then when you’re ready to move up (or move on to something else), just flip that stuff on Craigslist and get whatever suits your new skill level. And by then you’ll also have a better idea of what “deluxe” features you’ll actually need anyway.

This makes it so much easier to just TRY new things in life. You don’t have to worry, “Am I serious enough about this to make an investment?”

Dude, no investment necessary! Just temporarily own that shit and give it a shot. If you’re not feeling it, just flip it on Craigslist. Treat life like it’s a Costco free food sample!

With the mentality of “temporarily owning”, you can stop worrying about BUYING and focus on what’s really important: DOING.

Give the Finger to Materialism

“Temporarily owning” also helps you battle America’s #1 mental disease: materialism.

Seriously, it’s such a big problem, we never even think about how obsessed with stuff we are. It’s weird when you actually think about it:

• As a nation, we define ourselves and others by our purchases. We see stuff as an extension of who we are. That we ARE what we BUY.

• We think buying all this crap will help fill an empty void in our lives. And when it doesn’t, we’re convinced that we just need to buy more, more, more.

• We believe that those who have more things, have happier lives (hint: NOT TRUE)

• We attach ourselves so much to our purchases, that if we lose them, we’ll start bawling like we just lost a loved one.

• And having shit is so important to people that they’ll put themselves into debt, cutting themselves off from opportunities like traveling and EXPERIENCING LIFE, just so they can have the shiniest car or biggest flatscreen.

I think Tyler Durden says it best: “The things you own, end up owning you.”

I mean, c’mon people, is this not @#*%ing BATSHIT INSANE?

When you start “temporarily owning”, it becomes much easier to see the light.

Since you’re just borrowing things and not OWNING them, you never start associating that stuff with you are in the first place. You healthily detach yourself from the things you buy.

They’re not an extension of who you are. They’re not a part of you. They don’t make you complete.

They’re just TOOLS that we USE to help us live more awesome lives. That’s it.

And as soon as they stop being useful to us, it’s time to pass it on.

Remember this: “You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f*cking khakis.” – Tyler Durden

Word.

A Great Intro to Minimalism

Once “temporarily owning” changes your relationship with materialism, you might be tempted to take it even further…

Minimalism is basically the practice of getting rid of everything that you don’t really need or use. Simplifying your life. Constantly striving to own LESS rather then MORE.

It’s essentially the anti-materialism.

Now, why in the hell would you want to do that? Well how about:

To cut down on this endless cycle of want, want, want.

To fully appreciate what you DO have.

To consume less (TV, blogs, Youtube) and to create more (art, friendships, babies).

To not be mentally burdened and physically imprisoned by tons of unimportant crap.

To live a more location-free, travel friendly lifestyle.

To change your focus from HAVING more to EXPERIENCING more.

Look, it’s pretty simple. You’ve got one life. And it’s a short one.

So you can choose to spend your limited time and energy on the things that really matter (spending time with loved ones, having new experiences, living life), or the things that don’t (stuff).

The choice is really damn obvious for me.

And in the end, that’s what all this “temporarily owning” stuff comes down to.

It’s a mindset that I was forced to adopt at first. Since I love to travel and try new hobbies but I’m not filthy rich, I had to start “temporarily owning” out of necessity.

But after growing into this mindset over the past few years, I never want to give it up now. If anything, I want it to keep growing.

I never want the things I own to own me.

And the only thing that I truly, fully want to own is my life. The rest? Eh, I’ll eventually flip that shit on Craigslist.


###

Oh, and yes, I got my motorcycle off Craigslist. C’mon, what’d you expect?

I am not a morning person. No way in hell.

Which sucks because doing your mornings right is absolutely CRUCIAL to living an epic life (I’ll explain below).

For those of us setting our own schedules (the self-employed, un-employed, and in-between), handling our mornings can become one of the most epic challenges we’ll ever have to face.

With no office job holding our asses accountable, it’s way too easy for our mornings to take control of us, and not the other way around.

Believe me. Ever since I started freelancing 3 years ago, I’ve been fighting a daily battle against Shitty Morning Syndrome, and more often then not, I’d get my ass beat.

If you’ve been there, you know what it feels like. Waking up feeling completely unmotivated. Hitting “snooze” over and over (and over) again. Lying in bed mindlessly checking e-mail. Staring at the wall, unable to decide what to do first (and already feeling overwhelmed).

And then before you know it, it’s 3pm and you’ve gotten jack shit done. Your eating schedule’s all thrown off. You’re too drained to workout. Your entire day is screwed and you feel guilty and angry at yourself for letting this happen…again.

As someone who wants to do a lot before his short life is over, I hate hate hate these wasted mornings (and the wasted days that would follow).

But try as hard as I might, I could never consistently have kick ass mornings. I’d always fall off the wagon time and time again.

Until I realized why, despite my best intentions, this kept happening.

See, I realized that there’s one unstoppable force determined to fuck up your mornings no matter what: your mind.

Your mind is one tricky bastard, ESPECIALLY in the morning. He’ll do whatever he can to make you sleep in, disrupt your plans, slow you down. He has no shame. He’ll lie, cheat, cajole, and use every excuse in the book.

But never trust him. He’s a filthy little liar.

So it becomes obvious. To have an amazing morning, you need to take your mind completely out of the equation.

You need to put your mornings on AUTOPILOT.

From the moment your alarm goes off, you need to shut off your brain. You can’t give your mind even ONE chance to say something. Every thought will lead you back to your pillow.

You need to have your entire morning already figured out for you before you even set your alarm. You shouldn’t be making a single coherent decision for yourself until lunchtime.

Now once I had that figured out, I finally came up with an autopilot morning routine that works PERFECTLY for me. I’m absolutely in love with it. Call it infatuation if you want, but no joke, it’s been rocking my world.

These days my mornings are the complete opposite of everything they used to be. They’re energizing, motivating, highly productive, and actually enjoyable. And when I start my mornings off that way, the rest of my day always follows suit.

Lemme share my routine with you guys in full detail so you can see how and why it’s so kickass for me. Feel free to modify this routine and try it for yourself, but I’m warning ya, you might fall in love too:

My Autopilot Morning Routine

• The night before – Set my alarm

  As I’m going to bed, I set my alarm for the morning and whatever I set BECOMES LAW (it’s usually set for 9:30am, but if I’m up super late, I’ll adjust). From this moment on, everything’s on Autopilot and out of my control.

• 9:30am – Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready

  Alarm goes off and I’m up! I blast music from my iPhone and start getting ready (Morning rule: iPhone can only be used for music, nothing else).

  My rule is I have to be out the door within 30 min. Once I’m awake, I go straight into the bathroom and wash up. Then I eat a light breakfast (these days it’s 2 hardboiled eggs – you want to get some protein in as soon as you can).

  After that, I put on my gym clothes and…

• 10:00am – Get Outside and Get Physical

  …I’m out the door! If I can get out earlier, then I’m even more of a baller. I have exactly an hour to do two things:

  Get Outside: I start by taking a nice, pleasant walk to my gym. I soak in the sun. Breathe deep. Enjoy being a part of the outside, alive world.

  This is crucial for us work-at home types. Starting the day by getting out and interacting with the world is so necessary to our health and happiness. Trust me on this.

  The key part of this walk is to enjoy it and slowly shake off the sleep. I usually listen to music and try thinking about things I’m grateful for and appreciate. Keep your mind light and positive.

  Get Physical: After getting outside, I’ll usually hit the gym or do sprints. Whatever it is, keep it short and intense. The goal of these workouts is to get you feeling f*cking great afterwards.

  To really feel awesome after a workout, it needs to be intense. No yawning here. You need to push yourself as hard as you can. Trust me, you’ll feel AMAZING afterwards.

  When I’m done with my workout, I walk home, down a protein shake, and quickly rinse off. I always feel ALIVE after my workouts and on top of the world. I feel like I can tackle anything. Perfect, because next up is…

• 11:00am – Complete 2 Pomodoro’s of my highest priority project.

  After my workout, my energy is through the roof, my mood is high, and my brain is firing on all cylinders. This is the perfect time to get productive.

  Without even thinking, I’ll just launch immediately into getting shit done! No checking e-mail. No sending tweets. Just 2 Pomodoro’s (30 min. sessions of work) back to back.

  Use this peak time to tackle your HIGHEST priority project. Maybe it’s learning a language. Or working on your debut novel. Usually it’s the item on your to-do list that you’re most dreading.

  Whatever it is, start it immediately, before you can make any excuses. Before other distractions come up. Before your mind can say no. Now’s the time!

• 12:00pm – Morning’s over and you just kicked its ass! Now go forth and conquer the rest of the day!

Now if you followed this routine, take a look at what you accomplished in just the first 2.5 hours of your day:

Got up like a lightning bolt. Ate a nutritious breakfast. Got ready without wasting a single second. Interacted with the outside world. Engaged in positive thinking. Worked out like a beast. Energized your body and mind. Flooded your brain with happy endorphins. And completed 2 Pomodoro’s of your most important work.

All on autopilot.

Wow. Now that’s one helluva way to start your day. And you still have 13.5 hours left!

Even if you did nothing else, you’ve already accomplished more then what most people do in 24 hours.

But of course, with a kickass start like that, why would you stop there? The momentum of an amazing morning will carry over to the rest of your day. Always.

See, that’s why morning’s are so damn important.

If you put your mornings on autopilot, you’re guaranteed a morning full of win.

A morning full of win leads to a day full of win.

Day after day full of win leads to a life full of f*cking win!

Get the picture? See why morning’s are absolutely crucial?

This is about way more then just that time of day when you drink coffee and eat bagels. It’s about wanting to live an absolutely epic life. And about fulfilling that promise in its entirety – not just having epic nights and epic afternoons – but the whole frickin’ epic shebang!

You can’t afford to NOT be a morning person. Dude, that’s like a third of your life right there! If you want to live an epic life, then you need to follow through with it, all the way. Every single day, right from the get-go. From the moment you open your eyes til the moment you close ‘em.

Think about it.

Or better yet, don’t. Just put it on autopilot.

###

Okay, so maybe I overestimated this peace and quiet thing. Either way, I’m stoked for the next few months. I feel like I’m getting back into “try new random things” mode and I like it.

I got mugged in Colombia. And it was all cause I was trying to get some.

Before you judge, let me back up and explain.

So it was my last night in Colombia. I had spent 31 incident-free days living it up in Medellín (the city made famous by it’s legendary women, Pablo Escobar…and Entourage) but now it was time to say adios.

My buddies Sol and Sean threw me a Despedida (farewell party) and I swear, it was like out of a movie. The whole night, all these characters I had met over the past 4 weeks showed up to send me off.

My salsa dancing teacher. The crazy, tri-lingual Swedish sisters. The Reggaeton producer who became my closest parcero (‘friend’ in Medellín-talk). The backpacking Canadian fiance’s. My Brazillian and Dutch guitar-mates.

Man, it wasn’t until the Despedida that I realized how much I was going to miss Medellín.

The night was a whirlwind of dancing, pizza cooking, and Aguardiente drinking (not necessarily in that order) and before I knew it, it was already 4am and time to bounce.

After a few heartfelt goodbyes, I grabbed a cab with the Colombian bailarina (dancer) I’d been dating and we booked it out of there. And this is where I started to make a series of mistakes.

Mistake #1: I wanted to get some.

Now ever since I started dating Ana* (name changed to protect the innocent), we had two problems. 1) We had to communicate mostly through hand gestures and, 2) we had trouble finding, uh, privacy.

Fun fact on dating in Colombia: almost every Colombian in their twenties lives at home with their parents. Another fun fact: I was living with a Colombian family and was forbidden to ever bring anyone home.

So that’s pretty much how we ended up on Carrera 70 (a big, main street) at 4am looking for a hotel room. Now besides making me feel seedy as hell, there was another problem…

Mistake #2: I was being a cheap ass.

C’mon, it was the last day of my trip, and I wanted to stay under budget. Don’t give me that look!

We got dropped off at this not-entirely-shitty-looking budget hotel. The price was right, the place was clean, and the price was right. Awesome, we’ll take it!

Wait, what’s that? You don’t accept credit cards?

Crap. I didn’t have enough cash on me.

We stumbled back to the street, on the search for the next one, and at this point I realized my next mistake.

Mistake #3: I was f*cked up!

Okay, maybe I’m making excuses here, but my decision-making skills definitely weren’t at their clearest (thanks Despedida!).

Even in my inebriated state, I noticed how quiet the streets were. It unsettled me a little. Carrera 70 is a major street that’s always brightly lit with people everywhere. It’s not some shady side alley. But that night, it was kinda dead.

Anyways, we manage to find another hotel and lookee here…it was one of those fancy, overpriced, white-curtain-draped hotels I was trying to avoid. Crap. I could tell by the cheesy vests the clerks were wearing that I wasn’t going to like the price.

They told me the price. I didn’t like it. Told ya.

So we turned back, ready to continue the search. With one hand behind my girls’ back, I reached out with the other to push open the glass door…when I suddenly paused.

You know those moments in your life where you look back and think, “Damn, If only I could re-do that…”? This was that moment. That fork in the road. That Choose-Your-Own-Adventure decision.

I looked out that glass door and saw some Colombian dudes chilling in the street. There must’ve been at least 5 of them (but since I’m in storytelling mode, let’s just round that up to 7).

A few were peeing. Others were walking around. But they didn’t look like they were together. They were spread out JUST enough so that it simply looked like some random dudes kicking it in the street.

But my gut knew something was up.

Alarm bells started going off in my stomach. Deep down inside, I knew that I shouldn’t be walking out there.

And that’s when I made my biggest, and last mistake.

Mistake #4: Not trusting my gut.

My gut is ALWAYS right. About everything. From what I really want to eat (double-double, animal style) to whether that shirt makes me look gay (yup). I should always trust my gut. But I don’t, cause my frickin’ head gets in the way.

As soon as I felt something was off, my head decided to chime in.

Head: “Dude, what’s wrong? It’s just a few Colombian’s walking down the street. You think just cause they’re Colombian they’re gonna rob you?”

Me: “No…”

Head: “Man, that’s racist! You a racist, Jaemin??”

Me: “What?! No, I swear, I’m just -”

Head: “And not only are you racist, but you’re SCARED, huh? What is your girl gonna think? I bet she’s wondering why you’re acting like such a scared little bit-”

Okay okay, fine! My head won.

So I took a deep breath. Pulled Ana in close. And pushed through the glass door.

And we started walking. Fast.

I glanced behind me and saw the vest-wearing hotel clerks staring at us. Like they were expecting something to happen. Uh, not good.

With our shoulders huddled together and our chins up, we quickly passed the guys outside. Hey now, that wasn’t so ba –

Oh shit.

I saw movement from my peripheral vision. The dudes were moving closer together. They weren’t random people on the street. They were one cohesive group.

And they were starting to follow us.

Shit shit shit.

We kicked up our pace. I could feel Ana gripping me tighter.

I looked ahead and spotted an open shop about a block away. The street was emptier then I’ve ever seen it before.

The Colombian dudes started walking faster.

Fuck fuck fuck.

If we could just reach the shop. It’s 50 feet away…40…30…

…

And then the shit hit the fan.

Before we could even react, the footsteps behind us broke into a run and they were on us.

In a split second, Ana was ripped away from me. I felt something cut my arm and I turned to look.

One of the muggers had grabbed Ana and was holding her with one arm. And with his other, he was pointing a knife right at me.

Damn. Looking back, I realize how scary of a situation that was. But to be honest, when it was all happening, I wasn’t scared at all.

I’m not saying that to be all macho tough guy, I’m saying that it happened so fast that I didn’t feel anything. I could only react.

The mugger with the knife started yelling, “Todos! Todos! (Everything!)” And without any hesitation, I gave him exactly that.

My hands fished through my pockets and pulled out everything they could find. My wallet. My shitty Blackberry. My camera. My necklace. Hell, even my Burt’s Bees chapstick!

As the lead mugger held onto Ana, the 6 other guys started snatching my shit like kids in a candy store. It was almost comical. They would excitedly grab something from me, start running, then double-back to grab something else.

And then just like that – it was over.

Within 5 seconds, they had pulled a knife on us, took all our shit, and then were off running down the street like giddy children.

It took us a moment to catch our breath, and that’s when the emotions finally hit us. Ana started crying, shocked by what just happened. And me?

The only emotion I felt was anger. At myself. I was pissed that I didn’t listen to my gut. That I stupidly ignored the signs. But worst of all, that this poor Colombian girl was put in danger because of my dumb ass.

In a completely uncharacteristic move, I grabbed the only thing they didn’t take (a bracelet given to me on New Years) and smashed it on the ground. As I watched the wooden beads roll down the sidewalk, my anger slowly dissipated and I suddenly realized how lucky we were.

They took our stuff, yes, but all of it was material shit. Easily replaceable. More importantly, we were alive and unharmed. Thank God. I didn’t really care about anything else.

I barely had any cash in my wallet anyways (haha suckers!) and my passport was safely hidden in my room, so I’d still be able to catch my flight in 6 hours. We couldn’t call anyone or pay for a cab, but luckily it wasn’t too far of a walk to my place…

Oh shit, where’s my key? Goddammit. They had to steal my key too?!

Funnily enough, this was the hardest part of the night for me. Remember how I said I was living with a Colombian family? The madre was already annoyed with me whenever I went out past 10pm.

So I’m sure you can imagine the look on her face when I had to ring the doorbell and wake up the whole house. At 5am. With a girl by my side.

Yeah…not exactly how I wanted to say goodbye.

But after I was scolded, the family was actually really supportive. They helped me cancel all my cards. Promised to help me file a police report in the morning. And they got a hold of Ana’s parents, who sent a cab for her.

When the cab arrived, I hugged Ana goodbye and told her I was so sorry. She shushed, “All that matters is that we are safe. It’s a shame what happened, but we will always have our beautiful memories together.”

At least I think that’s what she said.

And no, to answer your question, I did not get any that night. Wipe that smirk off your face.

But I did learn an important lesson:

*Never live with a Colombian family if you’re single.

*Always trust your gut. Especially if your safety’s at risk. Your instincts know way better then you about everything – and they don’t care about looking stupid – so trust them.

But if you don’t, hey, it’ll probably make for a great story.



###

Hmm, maybe I’ll bring it back. I kinda miss it.

Are any of you out there struggling with creativity? Is it not fun anymore? Maybe even frustrating as hell? Does it leave you wondering, “Maybe I was never meant to do this shit in the first place”?

Trust me, you’re not alone.

Here’s something most people don’t know about me: even though I’m a professional filmmaker, I’ve been struggling with creativity all my life.

Maybe “struggle” isn’t the right word. It’s been more like a “vicious, hair-pulling, bloody battle” with creativity.

But I’ve finally gotten past it. Thank the lord, finally. And just like my struggle with sticking to a workout routine, it wasn’t anything wrong with me. It was just a simple mindset change.

To explain, I’m gonna have to dive into my past real quick (cue flashback music):

When I first got into filmmaking, it started off being purely, 100% fun. It was thrilling, exciting, and energizing. I got so into it that I couldn’t sleep. Hours flew by like they were seconds.

I fell head over heels in love with the pure joy of creation.

But as I made more videos and got better and better at it, something strange happened. Something switched inside of me.

Suddenly, filmmaking stopped being this fun, joyful thing. It started stressing me out.

Everything I made just wasn’t good enough. I felt so much pressure. I felt like I was constantly running out of time. I felt frustrated cause I wanted my work to be “up there”, but it was always “down here”.

I couldn’t even enjoy awesome movies because it made me jealous. Every minute that I didn’t spend working on film, I felt guilty. Like I was falling behind in some invisible race.

But worse then all the above, I began to doubt myself. I convinced myself that I was never meant to be a creative in the first place. That I was just a big sham.

For the past 8 years, every short film I made was just another opportunity to get stressed out, hate my work, hate myself, and doubt my entire purpose in life.

It was #@!%king awful. I wouldn’t wish this hell on my worst enemy.

My relationship with filmmaking had started off so beautifully, but somehow it turned completely destructive and abusive. WTF?

I did everything I could to fix it, but nothing helped.

I read every book on creativity out there. I tried stream-of-consciousness exercises. I got into meditation.

I tried to brute-force my way through it by just working harder. By spending hours and hours holed up, forcing my creativity to work. Forcing myself to enjoy the creative process again (Guess what? It didn’t work).

After years of struggling with this, I was depressed, beaten down, and utterly exhausted. So I finally threw in the towel.

In 2010, I took an indefinite hiatus from personal filmmaking. I traveled the world. Explored new hobbies. Had breathtaking new experiences. It was the most amazing year of my life.

But something was missing. I still had the urge to create.

I thought maybe my problem was just with filmmaking so I decided to try something completely different: making music.

At first, it was just like falling in love with filmmaking all over again: thrilling, fun, hours feeling like seconds.

But then the unthinkable happened. This new relationship with music followed the exact same pattern as filmmaking. Something switched in me. And fun turned into misery.

WHAT THE *%#!ING HELL?!? Now I knew something was seriously f*cked up. I didn’t just have a problem with filmmaking. I had a problem with CREATIVITY in general.

Utterly freaked out and questioning everything I thought I knew about myself, I took a hiatus from music too.

I just stopped. Ceased all creative activity. And spent the past month just reading, thinking, and reflecting.

And then I finally realized something. Something freaking BIG.

I realized something about myself that I didn’t want to admit, but it was the truth:

I had stopped making films for the pure joy of creation, and instead, started making them to become famous. To become “successful”. To become someone important.

Whoa. Really? Me??

This ran contrary to everything I believed in (chasing status = shitty life goal). It disgusted me. But it was the brutal, honest truth and I just never admitted it to myself.

And it explained everything. Like why filmmaking suddenly switched on me.

It’s cause at some point, I got it in my head, “Hey, you know what? You’re getting pretty good at this. Maybe you could become the next Spielberg!” And that was the beginning of the end.

From that point on, every film I made became a career move.

That’s why I constantly felt stressed out and under pressure. Why other movies became competition instead of inspiration. Why I always felt like I was running out of time.

It stopped being fun because I was now doing it for the wrong reasons.

HOLY F#*@ING SHIT! When I realized this, everything changed. The past 8 years of creative confusion suddenly became crystal clear.

There wasn’t anything wrong with me. My creativity wasn’t broken. I wasn’t a sham.

I just got my motivations mixed up. I stopped creating for the pure joy of it and started creating to win the approval of others.

And as soon as I admitted this to myself…I was finally able to let go of it.

I realized how stupid it was. How counter-productive it was to my creativity. My happiness. And yes, even my sanity.

And once I realized it…*poof*…just like that, it was gone. Like a 10 ton boulder had finally been lifted off me.

That was 2 weeks ago, and since then, my relationship with creativity has pulled a complete 180.

I’m no longer creating because I need to “make it”. Or cause I want to impress other people. I’m creating because it’s f*cking fun as hell.

If you’re struggling with the same creative problems I had, take a moment to ask yourself some questions:

Why are you really creating? Be brutally honest with yourself. Are you doing it for you? Or for others?

Do you remember why you got into creativity in the first place? Maybe it was the thrill of picking up your first paintbrush. Or the excitement of listening back to your first song.

Whatever it was…is that the reason you’re still creating now? And if not…shouldn’t it be?

I finally remember the entire reason I got into creativity in the first place: for the pure joy of creation. Nothing else.

And that’ll be the only motivation behind my creativity from now on.

And who knows? Maybe it’ll lead me to fame and “greatness” after all. Or to making a masterpiece that changes the world. Or not.  Either way, I don’t really care.

All I know is that after 8 years of confusion, I’ve finally fixed my relationship with creativity.  And all I had to do was realize one thing:

Creativity should never be a means to an end. It should be the end, in and of itself.


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And in case you were wondering, right now I’m exploring my creativity through music, photography, and writing.  I’m still on that filmmaking hiatus (over a year and a half now) but I’m not gonna lie.  I’m starting to get that itch again.  I might be coming back soon…I’ll keep you updated….

All my life, I’ve been one of those guys who could never stick to his workout plan.

I’d always start off with plenty of enthusiasm. I’d research the hell out of my workouts, set strict meal plans, have a specific goals of X pounds of muscles within X weeks…

But by week 3, I’d already get bored. Start slacking. And once I miss a workout or cheat on my meal, it was all downhill from there. And yes, this happened many, many times.

Was I just lazy? Did I just not have any self-discipline? At the time, I thought the answer was most definitely “Yes…you just suck at life.”

But let’s fast forward to now. I’ve been working out consistently for the past 2 years. I’ve been eating a healthy paleo/primal diet for the past 8 months. I feel better and look better than I ever have before.

I finally f#%*ng did it! But how? Did I miraculously become a self-disciplined, non-lazy, ass-kicking machine? Hell no.

The only difference is that I changed my reason for working out.

See, back then, the only reason I was working out was so I could look better. So I could finally have a beach body that I wasn’t ashamed of. So I could finally turn some girls’ heads.

But this was a shitty reason for me to stick to my gym schedule day in and day out. Progress was slow (especially after the first few months) so I wouldn’t see the harm in skipping a workout. Or two. Or three…

And “looking better” just wasn’t important enough to me. Let’s face it: working out and eating right is hard work. It takes dedication. Yeah sure, I wanted chiseled abs, but I didn’t want it so badly that I’d sacrifice everything else in my life for it.

But as of 2 years ago, here’s my new reason for working out: to feel better. To have more natural energy throughout my day. To start off my days with a bang and a rush of endorphins. To feel great all the time.

This new reason for working out has changed everything for me.

Now when I hit the gym, I know I’m getting a ton of instant benefits:

With all that to look forward to, why would I ever want to skip a workout? I actually look forward to them now. Crazy, huh? I never thought I’d be one of those people who say that.

A few other tips that’ve helped me:

Now I can finally be one of those people who say, “I feel weird when I miss a workout”. Wow. I never thought that’d be me.

Ever since I changed my goal from “looking better” to “feeling better”, not only do I feel on top of the world, but ironically, I also look better then I ever have before.

And I now know that working out and health will be a top priority for the rest of my life.

It feels good to say that. It feels even better to live it.


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When I was a kid, I was obsessed with reading. You know, up until 4am reading under the covers until my eyes hurt. You couldn’t stop me from reading

But as I got older, something changed.

Maybe the forced reading we had to do at school took the joy out of it. Or maybe girls and a social life started getting in the way. Whatever the reason was, all I know is that reading slowly became something “I used to do” but now never had time for.

Well, not anymore. I’m back to devouring books at an insatiable rate. I’ve cut down on mindless internet time to make more room for meaningful reading time. I’m officially, 100%, head over heels in love with reading again.

And I owe it all to a little thing called the Kindle.

Now how the hell did a frickin e-reader rekindle my love for reading? Good question. Especially since I used to be like a lot of you out there, moaning about how “the feel of paper can never be replaced”.

But the truth is, ever since I got my Kindle a year ago, my reading life has completely changed. And it’s stayed that way. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out how the Kindle pulled this off, and here’s what I’ve boiled it down to:

1) Less Wasted Time and More Reading Time

You know all that wasted time you have in a day? Standing in long lines. Waiting for a friend to show up. The breaks in-between your Pomodoro’s.

Now I turn all that wasted time into productive reading time. Since the Kindle is so small and compact, I almost always have it with me for all those wasted moments.

And get this – if I don’t feel like carrying the Kindle around, I still always have my book with me because of the Kindle iPhone app. The bookmark even automatically syncs so I can immediately pick up where I left off. Now I NEVER have an excuse not to be reading.

And thanks to the Kindle, I am now fully enjoying my favorite reading times once again:

Reading while eating. I’m fully convinced that the Kindle was designed for this purpose alone. Once you eat with the Kindle, I guarantee you won’t go back (trying to eat and hold down paperback pages is SUCH a pain in the ass). Because of the Kindle, I’ve reclaimed meal time as reading time and I f*cking love it. No joke, reading while eating is now one of my favorite things to do in the world. Seriously.

Reading in bed. It’s so easy. No more uncomfortable one-hand propping or awkward page turning. Just hold the Kindle with one hand, turn to your side and read. Reading in bed is such a pleasure that now it’s become part of my nightly routine to read a little fiction (non-fiction gets my brain too hyped up) before falling asleep.

So thanks to the Kindle, I’m able to discover more reading time throughout my day. It’s not that i suddenly have more hours in my day, but now I’m turning all that wasted time into reading time.

2) I Always Have the Right Book to Suit My Reading Mood

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t just read one book at a time (I usually read 1 fiction and 1-2 non-fiction books). My reading mood changes constantly throughout the day, and if I’m just carrying only one paperback with me, there will definitely be times where I’ll say to myself, “Ugh, I don’t feel like reading this right now…what’s happening on Twitter?”

With the Kindle, I can carry as many books as I want in one little device and when I’m not in the mood to read one book, I can instantly read something else, instead of putting the book down and doing something else.

3) There’s No Downtime After Finishing a Book

Before I got my Kindle, finishing a book became the most dangerous time for my reading habit. I could be a reading maniac, tearing through pages day after day, but as soon I finished my book…it all would come to an abrupt end.

Unless I had another book already picked out and in my hand, I’d have to head off to the library again or wait for my Amazon order to ship…and in that time, my newfound reading habit would’ve dwindled away.

Nowadays, there’s absolutely no downtime between books. I always have other books or tons of samples loaded up on my Kindle, ready to go. Samples? Why yes, let me school you on the magic of Kindle book samples.

I never hear people talk about this but it’s one of my absolute favorite Kindle features. So when someone recommends an awesome book to me, instead of adding it to some book list that I’ll never actually go through, I just go to Amazon.com and send a sample straight to my Kindle.

Now when I finish a book, I’ll just go through my list of samples and start reading one that strikes my fancy. The samples are the first few chapters of a book and by the time I get to the end, I know whether or not I want to keep reading. If I want to keep reading, I click a button and BAM, the entire book is bought and downloaded on to my Kindle. And I just continue reading where I left off.

It’s like being at a bookstore and being able to flip through any book you want. Except it’s all on one small electronic device. That you can use anywhere, at anytime. Awesome.

And aside from getting me back into reading, here are…

A Few More Reasons Why I Love My Kindle

The Kindle was built for reading and reading only (f*ck the iPad!) It’s the anti-internet, anti-multitasking, distraction-free device – and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

When I pick up my Kindle, I’m picking it up to have a reading experience. It provides me with the same calm, comforting, feeling that I get from paper books. Reading time is relaxation time. And part of that is because of the E-Ink display.

The E-Ink display is just like reading from paper. Like most of you, I force my poor eyeballs to stare all day into bright LED screens. I’m sick to death of computer screens so thank god for Kindle’s E-Ink display, which reads just like paper. It’s the anti-LED screen and it gives my eyes a much needed, soothing break.

Books, not blogs. Now that reading is back in my life, more and more I’m finding myself replacing aimless, mindless internet time with focused, productive reading time.

The internet is great for a lot of things, but more often then not, we just use it as a fun diversion. If you’re looking to learn more about a specific topic, stop reading blogs and get a book. Books are usually more in-depth, better researched, more cohesively put together, and are often from people who know what they’re talking about – not random bloggers just trying to get more page hits.

But if you’re going to read blogs or long articles online, use Instapaper. With one click of a button, Instapaper will save any article you find online to your Instapaper queue, which you can then send to your Kindle for free. Trust me, it feels so much better to read an article (especially those long New York Times pieces) away from a computer monitor.

Another cool thing about Instapaper is if you run out of things to read, they have a bunch of recommended articles for you to add to your queue (I haven’t checked this out yet cause I still have about 2.7 million book samples to power through).

And not saying I support this, but for those shady types who like to download, there are a good amount of Kindle books out there on sites like BTJunkie. Proceed at your own risk.

The lighted cover is badass. The official Amazon leather cover may be a little pricy, but in my opinion, it’s totally worth it. Not only does it protect the Kindle and make it more comfortable to hold (feels like a paperback in your hands, especially when you fold the cover backwards), but it has a built-in pop-out light that uses the Kindle as a battery source! This has come in handy so many times, from walking home at night in Berlin to reading every night before bed.

If you’re a traveller (or a minimalist), owning a Kindle is a NO BRAINER. Let me break this down for you quickly:

Bottom line is, if you used to love reading but have fallen out of the habit or seem to never have time for it, you should get yourself a Kindle stat! It turned me back into the little kid who couldn’t put a book down to save his life…and I didn’t realize until now how much I missed that.

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In case you’re wondering, while in New York I’ve finished the last Harry Potter (finally) and Jay-Z’s Decoded (so dope…download the sample and check it out now!)

If you’re someone who’s struggling with any sort of creative project, you NEED to read this book. It’s quick, inspirational, and has already helped me get past some roadblocks in my music production. The way he breaks down the creative process and how to get past what’s holding us back is absolute genius. Just get the back and you’ll see what I mean.

Guess where I’m at now? Yup, NYC. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Or at least according to Alicia Keys.

I’ve been here for a week now and I’m already in love with the place. Got a sublet in the beautiful East Village and will be calling this city my home for the next 2 months (until I head back to the west coast to prepare for Burning Man!).

So what’s my travel purpose while in New York? It’s going to be one thing and one thing only: music.

For the 2 months I’m here, I want to live, breathe, and eat music. I want to go to as many shows and events as possible. I want to make friends with musicians and other music lovers. I want to create more shitty music and hopefully get less shitty at it.

And I think this is the perfect city to do all that in.

Speaking of creating music, just to light a fire under my ass, I decided to give myself a specific goal while I’m here: create a 5 song mixtape before I leave.

Man, I struggled so much with whether or not I should do this challenge. A ton of doubts entered my head: How am I gonna make a mixtape when I haven’t figured out my genre/style yet? Shouldn’t I wait til I’m better? If I put my full effort into this and it comes out crappy, how f*cking embarrassed will I be?

But for all those reasons and more – that’s why I need to do this. It’ll give me something to work towards. A tangible goal, instead of just making songs randomly. It’ll give me practice in creating full-length songs, not just little snippets.

It’ll put some pressure on me to make songs that I can be somewhat proud of. And that pressure will force me to step up my game. Make better music. Learn more. And if that isn’t the point of this whole thing, I don’t know what is.

So…I’m doing it. Look forward to a hopefully-not-horrible mixtape at the end of July.

In other news, I’m loving the city so far but it’s been absolutely NON-STOP and this poor California boy is trying my hardest to adjust. Some first impressions:

People everywhere. So much energy. It’s bustling. Things are happening all around you. Feels like the polar opposite of LA, where people are hidden in their cars with their AC and radio turned up. Not here. This city and it’s people are all around you.

Restaurants and bars everywhere. Seriously, it’s gonna be crazy hard not to blow my entire budget on food and alcohol. Must…stay…strong.

Shit to do everywhere. On any given night there’s about a million plus one things to do here. Whatever kind of music you like to listen to. Whatever kind of trouble you like to get into. It’s all here and all within a few train stops.

I’ll leave you with a few pics from my first week. Now I gotta go run and pick up a keyboard off Craigslist. New York, I’ll try not to let you down.

Warehouse rave on my 2nd night there. Even the go-go dancer was getting a lightshow.

Any fire escape becomes an instant balcony.

Hanging out with my old roommate, now a Broadway star. Go see him in Catch Me If You Can.

Virginia’s first burger ever. Don’t blame her, she’s from Italy.

Xaphoon Jones (of Chiddy Bang) blowin up the spot.

People crowding the streets to get a shot of Manhattanhenge.

We got to witness T. Berry, the world’s greatest storyteller. And indeed, he was.

Hanging out with my new roommates on our sick rooftop. I have a feeling this rooftop’s gonna be key over the next 2 months.

I give my friend Taneen a lot of shit. I’m always making fun of her. Always laughing at the random and stupid things she says.

But honestly, she’s one of my favorite people to hang out with. I don’t tell her this much in person, but I think deep down she knows (or at least she does now – you better be reading my blog punk).

We got to kick it last week and it reminded me why I love this girl. Every time we hang out, two things happen: 1) we cut through the bullshit and, 2) randomness and spontaneity are the name of the game.

Let’s start with 1).

Most conversations, people just talk about inconsequential stuff. What movies they saw, how their vacation was, what’s going on at their job. Those convos are fine and all, but when I have them, I never feel like I really get to know a person. What makes them tick. Who they really are.

Taneen is a G at cutting through all that bullshit. I mean, there we are, just chillin in her kitchen, doing the whole catching-up-on-life thing, when without warning she just launches into it:

“What do you think is the one thing that makes you you?”

Normally when people ask a question like this, the mood in a room will shift like, “Oooooh, it’s serious introspective convo time.” But Taneen always manages to drop this stuff so effortlessly and casually, you don’t even notice the gears switching.

As I sat there trying to think, she smiled her goofy grin and elaborated, “Like, what’s your one quality that you can always rely on? That’ll keep you going above all else?”

Hmm. A few things cycled through my head. My creativity? Being social? My self-independence? But I realized my mind just kept going back to one thing: my drive to constantly improve, to be better tomorrow than I am today.

I told her that and then we proceeded to spend the next 2 hours having the kind of convo that stays with you for weeks after. Where you realize things about yourself and piece together thoughts you’ve never had before. But also where you’re busting up laughing every 5 minutes. Never heavy handed, but always completely real and genuine.

Oh, and this whole time, she’s been pounding shots of Svedka like a champ. Thatta girl.

Anyways, we ended up getting kicked out of the kitchen for being too loud so we moved on to part 2) of the night.

Usually when we hang out, we’ll go out on some random adventure. But we decided to stay in tonight and since watching TV isn’t really our style, something random was bound to happen.

I was showing her the new camera I got (Canon S95, I love this thing) to replace my mugged one and we started talking about models. More specifically, what would it feel like to have cameras pointed at you for a living?

Then out of nowhere Taneen says, “Dude let’s have a photoshoot and find out.”

I was down. Neither of us ever seriously pose for pictures. This would be an interesting experiment.

Trying our hardest not to laugh, we took turns playing photographer, yelling nonsensical directions at each other.

“You have a kid and you forgot to pick him up after school! How could you let this happen?”

“The camera has a crush on you. And you know it. Flirt with the camera. Toe the line. But don’t you DARE cross it!”

An hour and half later, not only did we learn that being a model is frickin tough, but we had a ton of shitty photos to prove it. But surprisingly, a handful actually weren’t half-bad…

Even more surprising, the shots Taneen directed turned out better than mine. What the hell? I didn’t think she even knew how to turn the camera on!

We were cracking up looking through all our crappy photos when I suddenly came across one that made me stop. It instantly became my favorite:





I didn’t even know she took this photo. It was a completely genuine, non-posed moment, but it perfectly captured me and Taneen’s friendship. Her: rolling around on the ground, acting a complete fool, but not caring one bit. Me: face in palm, laughing at her, but unable to hide a real smile.

That’s pretty much us in a nutshell; what it’s like every time we hang out. And don’t tell Taneen this, but I wouldn’t really have it any other way.

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So I started writing this blog post cause I thought it’d be good writing practice for me to do a “slice of life” piece…but jesus, I had no idea how hard it’d be.