Tonight, at midnight, I turn thirty. The big 3-0.
It feels like this is supposed to be some sort of big deal. A mildly depressing milestone of sorts. Like this is the official signifier that I’ve hit my peak and life will start heading downhill from here.
Sorry, but I couldn’t disagree with that sentiment any more.
I’m turning 30 in a few hours and I’m happier, healthier, and more free than I’ve ever been.
When I look back at my twenties and teens, I’m shocked at how confusing and painful life was back then. Hell, I’m shocked just looking back 6 months from now! The baggage I was carrying, the unconscious patterns that were running the show, the painful beliefs about life I held as true – I can’t believe I was living my life that way. It almost seems barbaric now.
And yet, with as much clarity as I think I have now, I know that it’ll pale in comparison to how I feel when I turn 40. Or 50. Or 60.
That at those ages, I’ll look back at each previous year and think, “Wow. I can’t believe I was living my life this way. I can’t believe all the things I wasn’t aware of. Of how much more life had to offer.”
And I could not be more stoked to get there.
I think this misconception that aging sucks comes down to a problematic, FIXED approach towards life:
That life is just life. It’ll be the same deal at 70 as it is at 20. Except your body will start to deteriorate, and with it, your ability to enjoy life. Life will just get harder, less enjoyable, and less fun than it is now.
If you hold that perspective, then that’s exactly how life will play out for you. But there’s another perspective, that I think is much healthier and closer aligned with reality. A GROWTH-ORIENTED approach to life:
That life isn’t just a static, fixed thing. It’s an experience that constantly grows, evolves, and opens as YOU grow, evolve, and open.
From this perspective, every moment becomes an opportunity to EXPAND. To shed baggage. To bring unconscious patterns to light. To resolve conditioning and heal trauma. To become more and more fully YOU.
And as you continue to grow and evolve, your experience of life completely and dramatically changes. Life becomes lighter, richer, less confusing, more joyful, less disconnected, more deeply felt, less in your head, more in your heart. You begin to gracefully surf the waves of life, instead of floundering uncontrollably under them.
Even the hardships of aging – like health issues or shouldering greater responsibility – become fuel for your growth. They all serve to have you look deeper inwards. Force you to question what values, beliefs, and identities are holding you back. Force you to step off the path well-travelled, and onto a path of your own.
It’s all FOR you. Everything life throws your way – it all pushes you forward.
And it’s all cumulative. Each year builds upon the years before. Each year paves the way for more, not less.
With a fixed mindset, it’s only down from here. With a growth mindset, it’s only up from here.
And the more you know this to be true, the more you stop fearing what the future will TAKE AWAY, but instead look forward to what it will BRING.
When there’s nowhere to go but up, why WOULDN’T you want to get older?
That’s why I can’t wait to turn 40. And 50. And 60. And beyond.
I know my best days aren’t behind me. They’re ahead of me.
And I cannot fucking wait to see them.
