“Karma is a bitch.”
You’ve heard that phrase a million times. And each time, you’ve hoped beyond hope that maybe, just maybe…it was true.
That a cosmic, unseen hand of justice1 would make sure assholes got the payback they deserved.
The douchebag that ghosted you. The boss who makes your life living hell. That fucker who fucking fucked you over.
Even the most hardcore atheists have all prayed at times, “God, I wish karma would bite them in the ass.”
Well, I have good news and bad news.
Bad news first: under clcoser examination, this idea of a universal force that rewards or punishes good/bad behavior becomes highly problematic.
For starters, what is “good” and “bad” anyways? If someone dumps you but that ends up fueling your most explosive period of self-examination and growth…was that bad? If you land that coveted job, but beat out a single parent trying to feed a family of three…good?
Not to mention, this all hinges upon the notion that we are making these good/bad choices out of our own free will (which neuroscience is beginning to disprove). And focuses entirely too much on external events being the cause of our happiness (rather than internal states).
For all these reasons and more, this idea of karma as a balancing scale of justice…just doesn’t add up. Sorry.
So, what’s the good news?
Karma IS real. Just not in the way we traditionally think of it.
Let me use a real-life example to illustrate this.
I knew a guy who manipulated his way through everything. Cheated on all his girlfriends. Lied and cut corners to make money and achieve status. Hell, he’d even post other people’s pictures on his Instagram to make it look like he was beaching it in Ibiza when he was just bumming it on his couch.2
And you know what? It seemed to work.
He made a ton of money. Dated lots of beautiful women. And became a leader in his industry.
You’re probably thinking what a lot of us did: “Screw that guy! If there was justice in this world, he’d get what’s coming to him.”
Well, there already is.
Those who cause pain and suffering to others, are already in a world of pain and suffering themselves.
I know, I know. That sounds like one of those fluffy things your Grandma would say that hold no weight in the real world.
But it’s actually true.
The kind of person who constantly lies and manipulates is someone who’s in deep pain and confusion. Someone who’s deeply insecure and feels that the only way they’ll be loved is if they become “successful” or are seen as such. Someone who’s so intensely scared that they aren’t enough as they are, they’ll do and say ANYTHING to convince others (and themselves) that they’re someone else.
But no matter what they accumulate, no matter how high up the ladder they go, they’re still a prisoner of their own internal hell. Until they start to look within.
No one “gets away” with anything in life.
The raging racist. The sleazy politician. The cheating spouse.
They don’t need karma to punish them. They’re already serving their punishment: living in a perpetual state of pain, suffering, and confusion. And acting out from that place.
The cheesy saying is true: “Hurt people hurt people.”
People who are totally secure, internally balanced, and filled with self-love do not go about hurting people. Manipulating people. Lashing out at people.
It’s the ones who are deeply insecure, unconsciously acting out lifelong patterns, with no outlet for their confusion or pain…they’re the ones who hurt people. They’re the ones who take desperate measures.
This may all sound like theory, but it’s not. Ask any behavioral scientist or therapist.
Or better yet, find out for yourself.
The more you work through your own shit, tackle your inner demons, undergo therapy, and find new levels of peace and happiness…you’ll have a direct experience of how true this is.
At least, that was the case for me.
I used to be a way shittier person.
I never mugged anyone or robbed a bank, but I was many steps closer to the aforementioned “fake Instagram” guy than I’d like to admit.
I would cut corners. Lie to people. Was inherently selfish. Cared way too much about my status and constantly worried what people thought of me. Cycled through friends to become more popular and well-liked. Viewed people as objects with which to get what I wanted.
And I can tell you from personal experience, that was NOT a fun place to be in.
I only treated other people like that because I was in such a state of lack. I felt like I wasn’t enough as I was.
And with that gaping hole within me, I did whatever it took to fill it. Trying to gain status, lying or manipulating others to make me look better, taking whatever selfish opportunity I could because I felt like I desperately NEEDED to.
At times, it may have seemed like I “got” what I wanted: the career, the girlfriend, the social status.
But inside? I was only more miserable.
None of those external things could fix my internal state.
And it wasn’t until I started to heal the pain and suffering within myself that I began to cause less pain and suffering to others.
The more fulfilled I was inside, the less I needed to take from others.
And the more I could actually give.
So next time someone acts like a complete fucking asshole, understand that a person needs to be in a LOT of pain to treat others that way.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t protect yourself. Or set up healthy boundaries. Or send them to prison to protect others, if that’s what’s needed.
That doesn’t mean you have to send compassion their way (although it never hurts).
But just know that you don’t need to wish them any ill will.
You don’t need to hope that some cosmic hand of justice will make them suffer for what they’ve done.
I can promise you, they are already suffering.
The shittier their behavior, the deeper their suffering.
Even the asshole with the money, cars, houses, (and the presidency) doesn’t have it made.
If they’re treating people like shit, they’re still trapped in their own circle of hell.
No matter how much they’ve got.
No matter what they’ve achieved.
No matter how many beach shots they’ve Instagram’d.
Karma IS a bitch, indeed.
